Fuck me as hard as our passion pursuit for liberty, life, and free market orgasm allows us to…
When was the last time you got high? Now don’t say it was high school on a Friday night, fucking that girl who sat next to you in Sex Ed class. You know that crush you always got wet with desire over while the teacher demonstrated to everyone like some freakin’ Costco sampler bitch how to put a rubber on a banana.
Meanwhile you just was hungry for that fruit between your lips. You were considered a stoner loner but you improvised like a filthy MacGyver another use for that Coca-Cola can and the fat-ass blunt you had lodged between her legs.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to mind-fuck yourself out of your present reality…if only for the night and with that stranger things type of skater slayer you met at the local Starbucks.
Just make sure you’re both on the same page and have a signed mutual agreement (with s sharpie if need be) on the sheets you best get cleaned sometime this week. Put that on your to do list as you place your post-it note Kama Sutra Cliff notes cheat sheet on her ass cheek.
Love may not last forever and god fuck an eternity in purgatory but relationships on this near-miss planet are only as complicated as we allow them to be.
So for the final climax…Go Fuck Yourself because only you know what is best for your own kick-ass destiny. If you don’t order out some Chinese escort…I mean food along with that fortune cookie so you can stop sniffing those panties or left behind bras on your nightstand.