Goddess Damn Haters – Your Shit Won’t Bring Me Down But You Sure Hell Better Levitate My Peachy Ass Onto The Bed

Its all right to be sassy and assy. Just stay classy and don’t get crassy.

Anything is possible if you only believe, because if you smoke enough pot you’re fucking achieve higher than your summa cum laude (or more like super cum louder) GPA

You are a strong and confident leader who will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to.

At least that’s what I was told by some well meaning career counselors and my parents. As you get rewarded with gold stars placed across all your orifices and mind-fucked for your first time at prom night.

Truth be told, you will kick-ass and do what you love, but you may have to deal with crap along your life path. You may still achieve your dreams, but not without downsizing your menu choices and stripping it all down to do your part as a team player. Go Wildcats!

Just don’t waste time or money on others who don’t share in your dream, vision, and purpose for living. Or those faithless souls who will trip your ass up so you can end up asphyxiating during Rush Week on your own vomit.

You have enough on your to do list and post-it notes to get what you need to achieve during your college, career, relationships, and family life. Don’t let anyone into your private space or in between the sheets unless they share in your one true desire for more than just one momentary lapse of reasoning. You may have given up on religion or faith in something higher than your bad-ass self, but your body and mind still has what it takes to levitate your passionate rage to the next level. And the other side of midnight.

Your buck-ass genie will either grant you the unlimited wishes your heart and soul desires or you’ll be left holding an empty bong and wanting more than the stash you got left in your purse.

Life is too short to go it alone. Just make sure they know you’re in it to fucking kick some ass and theirs if need be.

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