Jesus Vapes! Everyone else can just go to…

Jesus Vapes. Everyone else can go to that lame club down the street. I hear they blast Justin Bieber music as Selena Gomez wannabes have indiscriminate sex with their college crush. Now can there be any worse fate than this type of hell. Let me add to that, you’re also a broke ass fuck who can’t even afford to buy that girl sitting alone at the bar an overpriced Hurricane. I guess someone else will be rocking her tonight to sleep.

Ok now where we were. Oh yeah! In someone else’s fucked up alternative universe because you are 20 years late to the god damn prom and you stood that Asian bitch up.

I remember face planting with crude and overworked style on some girls whom I met by fate or is that chance. I don’t know what games God or the fucking Universe is playing but it sure the hell was not the Secret from that book Oprah raved so much about on her show at the time.

I don’t even remember their names let alone their fucking shoe size or IQ but I do recall a size 4 comes to mind and a 32 C. Oh the joys of short-term selective memory loss and not wearing any sort of condoms at all. I believe I have that book Safe Sex for Dummies book in storage, underneath some used signed panties I’m saving for god knows what occasion. Maybe my next fucking birthday where she will be as lit as the number of candles on the cake. And I will have crisp new Washingtons strewn across the living room floor.

That pole in the middle of the house must be used for something right?

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