The Crap News Network – Because Reality Media Is Just Fucked…


Insanity is the new Reality…We are all screwed and stoned out of our ‘oh my god’ I’ll be damned, that ain’t a banana WTF moments…

The global shithole reality is the new fake news story of the week.  Insanity is the new norm as we placate our numb tired asses with legalized herbal medicinal joints or edibles so we can escape from the outside fucked up shit we view on that smart ‘trance’ screen in front of us.  

Next week stay tuned to Lady Liberty being stripped of her tiara and raped live before our very eyes then hung upon a red neon cross on CNN.  All while people upload footage to their FB, Snapcrap, Instashit, and You Tube Up The Ass accounts and does nothing to help her…only shaming her for their selfie fame and to update our short-lived social status.  

Viral vivaciously…I’m a fuckin’ You Tuber Star all nighter…

Hell if dumbasses want their 15 minutes of shame eating Tide Pods along with their Diet Coke and Big Macs then be my guess.  Many of our not so brightest future Prius driver Jackoffs of America have some evolving to do.  

Darwinism at its best as some worthless fucks go viral as we adjust the dial to the abnormally-high spin cycle.  Maybe as babies they found themselves trying on grandma’s panties and as teenagers sniffed way too fucking much rubber cement in art class while getting a-head by the Double Dutch exchange sluts in between strokes of the proverbial big brush. 

The Land of the Deranged Nerdy Fucks and Sorority ClassAss Sucks…

We are the land of the free, deranged, and socially-insane as we become the Sanctuary Nation for a global late night comedy soon to be scripted into a Broadway dramatic tragedy.  

Now don’t get me wrong.  I love foreign women.  I’m all for diversity like those Vegas buffets and Bunny Ranches.  I get extremely bored with Vanilla ice cream and just gotta have it mixed up with my Reese’s Pieces, Twix, and Kitty-Katz along with lots of succulent whipped cream, dark chocolate drizzle, and two cherries on top.  Because let’s face it, two are way better than just one.  Then again let’s make it a threesome five stars Mandalay Bay night to remember. 

So yes I value diversity in the divinely orchestrated and Universally pre-destined perfectly-accented fuck or is that accentuated assented in all her essential oils and aromatic essence.  

We are only as fucked as we allow ourselves to be in our own Mar-a-Lago Paradise.  It’s through our words and actions which set us free or allow us to become a far worse version of ourselves than hell itself.  

©2018 DIVE Publishing. All Rights Reserved. 

To be continued…

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